"You know what they say about High Fructose Corn Syrup..." →
Study Finds High-Fructose Corn Syrup Contains Mercury
Tumblr: The TV Show
by Dave SegerMade for Movie Night.
Want me to make you a video? Bid on my auction.
You’re the best, Dave (even if you aren’t coming to visit this weekend)
From a time before
All these flickering boxes
The dead are youthful
— My day in haiku
Remember when you learned to drive? Yeah, I sort of do, but my girlfriend’s dad was smart enough to film Marissa’s first attempt, and gawd, it’s hilarious (and cute).
Slow motion in-air skiing footage.
Just when you think slomo can’t get any cooler …
MICROSOFT WORD JUST TYPED THIS INTO A DOCUMENT ON IT’S OWN! SOMEONE STOLE MY BEANS!!!
bacon and bourbon
Salty, boozy explosion
Teammates for great sleep
— My day in haiku
I passed this wi-fi network today (explanation).
The hypnotized dog.
(tears, tears of laughter running down my face, I love you, The Soup)
New feature for Twitter users
Since I love to see speed and efficiency on the interwebs, I have decided to help drastically speed up the time it takes users to Twitter. I have put together a list of every single thing ever said on Twitter, so that users can simply copy paste them from here to save the time it takes to type or think of something new.
[Note: This post has exclamation points. Some of you may be overwhelmed with excitement.]
#1. Leaving work. Long day
#2. OMG New episode of Lost tonight!
#3. OMG New American Idol on tonight!
#4. OMG New episode of Heroes is on tonight!
#5. OMG New episode of Dexter tonight!
#6. Driving home from work. Long day
#7. Not getting laid again tonight!
#8. OBAMA OBAMA bla bla OBAMA!
#9. Lost/Dexter/Heroes/American Idol/ Starts in 10 minutes!
#10. OMG what a great episode!
#11. OMG I can’t wait until next week!
#12. Commercial break! OMG this is sooooo good!
#13. What is casual sex?
Update: #14. Got my chipotle fix today :)
If these for some reason do not fit what you want to say on twitter, congrats. You may just have a life. To the rest of you, seriously fucking do something. Stop telling the world how worthless and unimportant you think your life is. Just because you CAN write somethng on the internet, it doesn mean that anyone gives a fuck. People just tolerate it because its rude to tell you “HEY Fucktard! Reading about your mundane boring life everyday makes me want to hang myself.” Im not joking. You people are whats wrong with the internet.
A flood of meaningless shit has swept the once entertaining landscape and Im building a fucking Ark and refuse to die with you all. For once in your goddamn life, don’t be predictable. Im not saying go burn down an orphanage, Im saying do something, anything, other than what you are doing now. You are not being funny, you are not showing off your talents, you are not being witty, you are being a fucking 1984 Volvo. Be a fucking Ferrari, or a Monster truck. I dont care. Walk out the front door and fuck a stranger, get drunk and puke yourself to sleep, catch your hand on fire, just DO SOMETHING!
Sorry to rant. GTG The new episode of Lost comes on in 10 minutes!
Nice night for a walk
Briskly we strut, the wind zips
Our bundled bodies
— My day in haiku
After aveda
Whoa! Kari! You’re lookin’ like my most grown-up sister! (Kristin, watch your back …)
Almost forgot
I’m all cashed in. I ended up getting 5 tickets to anywhere in the continental U.S. So… here is my plane. I’m not going to use any of the tickets for events at all. Only, ONLY to party with friends. I figure I fly out to events enough and should do things that really are just for fun. My plans? Austin, Texas… Carey, North Cackalacky, and finally, your moms house.
Update: Chicago, and NYC
YES COME VISIT!
